Even when you’re doing all the “right” things — therapy, boundaries, self‑care — overwhelm can still hit hard. It doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human. This piece explores why survivors feel overloaded even after years of healing, and how to respond with compassion instead of self ...

squidlifecrisis wrote: Sat Jan 03, 2026 2:23 pm wow, thanks for such a detailed answer! I'm sure others will find it helpful too.

You are very welcome

New Blog: The Invisible Load — What Survivors Carry Without Realising It

Ever feel overwhelmed but can’t quite explain why?

This new post explores the quiet, relentless weight survivors carry — the stress that builds up without ever being named.
It’s not just about trauma. It’s about grief ...

A huge thank you to everyone who donated throughout 2025 :love9:

We’re incredibly grateful to share that we received £425.60 in donations last year via the forum donation/sponsor links. While our goal was £1000.00, every single contribution helped keep HAVOCA running and ensured the forum remained ...

It’s such an important question, and you’re right - triggers often hit before you even know what’s happening. You can’t stop that first jolt. Nobody can. What is possible is choosing how you support yourself in the moments immediately after. That’s where self‑compassion lives.

And that response ...

Free little bump. Lots of nominations so far - thanks to all those who have voted. Keep 'em coming.......

Member of the Year 2025
It’s that time again!

Each year, our community recognises one member who has offered outstanding support, friendship, and encouragement throughout the year. The Member of the Year Award celebrates the person who, in the eyes of the community, has consistently shown ...

Here is the requested by Kadie

If you’ve ever struggled with anger or self‑hatred for “not fighting back” during childhood abuse, you’re not alone. Many survivors carry shame for the survival responses their bodies chose for them — freezing, staying silent, running only so far, or doing whatever ...

New Blog Idea: Internal Boundaries & Self‑Worth

Thanks to Northern’s suggestion, we’re exploring a new blog topic that many survivors may find deeply relevant: internal boundaries. These are the quiet, personal limits we set within ourselves — how we speak to ourselves, what emotional weight we ...

New Blog: The Second Wave of Healing
Many survivors experience a deeper stage of healing later in life — a moment when old emotions resurface not as setbacks, but as signs of growth. Our latest blog explores why this happens, how to navigate it, and offers a curated list of powerful books to ...

To the HAVOCA Community

As we reach the end of another year, we wanted to take a moment to send our heartfelt thanks to every member of this community.

HAVOCA exists because of you: your courage, your honesty, your willingness to show up for yourselves and for each other. Whether you’ve posted ...

The Power of Small Wins: Celebrating Everyday Victories in Recovery

Recovery from abuse is often portrayed as a dramatic transformation — a single moment of clarity, a breakthrough in therapy, or a sudden reclaiming of one’s life.

Read about the power of small wins.

https://www.havoca.org/the ...

Hi there, my name is Marguerite Schinkel and I am a HAVOCA member, as well as an academic at the University of Glasgow. As a CSA survivor, I am aware that while the consequences of the abuse are life-long and serious, I have also managed to build a life for myself that has many positive aspects. I ...

Thank you for letting me know. Sadly there doesn't appear to be a quick fix. Amazon have unhelpfully retired that part of the associate link programme.

I have removed the functionality for now and I'll put my thinking cap on.