Blog Update - The Power of Small Wins

[Jamie]

The Power of Small Wins: Celebrating Everyday Victories in Recovery

Recovery from abuse is often portrayed as a dramatic transformation — a single moment of clarity, a breakthrough in therapy, or a sudden reclaiming of one’s life.

Read about the power of small wins.

https://www.havoca.org/the-power-of-small-wins/

[Elim]

Thanks for posting this!

Love the festive animations added to the BBS!

[squidlifecrisis]

Recognising a trigger and responding with self-compassion

can anyone give me an example of this?

I get flashbacks multiple times a day, and the triggers are completely random and unavoidable. How can you choose how you respond to something that happens at the speed of pain?

[Jamie]

It’s such an important question, and you’re right - triggers often hit before you even know what’s happening. You can’t stop that first jolt. Nobody can. What is possible is choosing how you support yourself in the moments immediately after. That’s where self‑compassion lives.

And that response doesn’t have to be fancy or formal. It can be an internal monologue, a quick journal note, or even words spoken quietly out loud if that helps your nervous system hear you. All of these are valid ways of “positively affirming” the response you want to strengthen.

Here are some examples of what recognising a trigger and responding with self‑compassion can look like:

1. Naming what’s happening (in your head or on paper)
Trigger: A sound or smell sets off a flashback.
Self‑compassion response:
Internal monologue: “That was a trigger. My body is reacting to something old. I’m safe right now.”
Journal version: “Flashback at 3pm. It passed. I handled it.”
This helps interrupt the shame spiral and brings you back into the present.

2. Speaking to yourself the way you’d speak to a friend
Trigger: A sudden image or memory hits.
Self‑compassion response:
Out loud or internally: “That was awful. Anyone would react like that. I’m doing my best.”
This reinforces a kinder internal tone over time.

3. Letting your body settle instead of forcing it to ‘get over it’
Trigger: Heart racing, freezing, or dissociation.
Self‑compassion response:
A hand on your chest, grounding through your feet, one slow breath.
Internal monologue: “Easy… I’m here. I’m safe. This will pass.”
This isn’t about fixing it—just supporting yourself through it.

4. Reducing the pressure on yourself
Trigger: A flashback hits in the middle of your day.
Self‑compassion response:
Internal or spoken: “I can take a moment. I don’t have to push through this instantly.”
Even a 20‑second pause is an act of care.

5. Acknowledging the randomness without blaming yourself
Trigger: Something unpredictable sets you off.
Self‑compassion response:
Journal entry: “Another random trigger today. Not my fault. My nervous system is doing what it learned to do.”
This shifts the focus from frustration to understanding.

The key is repetition. Every time you respond with even a tiny bit of kindness - whether in your thoughts, your journal, or your voice - you’re reinforcing a new pattern. You’re teaching your nervous system that it’s allowed to feel safe with you.

[squidlifecrisis]

wow, thanks for such a detailed answer! I'm sure others will find it helpful too.

[Jamie]

wow, thanks for such a detailed answer! I'm sure others will find it helpful too.

You are very welcome