Board rules

These rules are disclosed to clarify the various responsibilities of all community members here on HAVOCA. They shall be adhered to by everyone to ensure that our board runs smoothly and provides a fun and productive experience for all of our community members and visitors.

  1. Membership

    1. Account Deletion: We do not delete accounts because the accounts are linked to posts throughout the forum. If we delete accounts then those posts un-link from their threads and it makes the board lose its coherency. In extreme circumstances, we can deactivate accounts (this prevents the user from logging in whilst retaining their posts). To deactivate your account please contact an Administrator. #
    2. Harassment Harassment of any form is strictly forbidden. Members may forward PMs, emails or report posts where they feel they are being targeted and harrassed to a Moderator. Action in accordance with these rules will be taken against any perpetrator. #
    3. Your username and password are private and should never be revealed or shared with another person. #
    4. Membership of this community and use of the boards must be in accordance with the content and intent of HAVOCA’s Policy Documents #
    5. Privacy If you wish to remain anonymous then choose an username that no one else knows or could recognise. Also refrain from writing personal information in posts. In particular you should avoid using references to addresses, workplaces, schools etc. You are also bound by the private message rule below. #
    6. Private messages (PMs) are to remain private unless express permission between the author/recipient is reached that allows the use of the contents in the public forum areas. Please remember that if you have too many PMs stored, you will not be able to receive any incoming PMs. Please keep your total amount of PMs to a minimum, allowing the mods & other members to PM you when needed. Note - you will need to clear out your 'sent' box, too! - details can be found in the Forum's FAQ. #
    7. You should select a username that is easy to remember, as it not only enables you to log on to the site, but it also helps other members to know who you are. If at any stage you wish to change your username, and you have good reason to do so, then please contact a Moderator or email Try to choose a name that is anonymous so that your privacy is protected. #
  2. Posting Rules/Etiquette

    1. Abuse: Do not post material that refers to your abuse of children, as an adult. This includes allegations against you, proven or not. The issues of child abusers are not appropriate for this forum. #
    2. Advertising: If you have a website, you may place the reference to that website in your signature. Generally speaking, open advertising is not allowed in posts and will be removed. If you have a website you wish to promote, or have seen one you wish to announce, or are soliciting help or input for a project, as long as it fits in with the general spirit of the board then you are permitted to post. PLEASE contact a moderator if you have any doubts. #
    3. Behaviour: Discussion is expected to be 'in the spirit' that encourages further discussion. All discussion is expected to be in an uplifting, encouraging, supportive, and caring manner, which does not personally (directly or deliberately) insult other individual members. It is acceptable to express feelings you experience in regards to relationships, but it is NOT acceptable to directly or indirectly attack another person, whether that person is part of this forum or not. Heated debate is expected, and some confrontation will undoubtedly develop; however HAVOCA expects every post to be courteous and polite. Deviation from this rule will not be tolerated. #
    4. Copyright: Most printed news stories and articles are copyrighted to the authors or publishers. While it may or may not be legal to post them in entirety, HAVOCA does not moderate this — unless it clearly says, when you post it, that it is not to be reprinted, in which case we are legally required to pull the post off the public board. We suggest you consider 'paraphrasing a review' of items more likely to be copyrighted without permission to distribute, or at the very least acknowledge the author in your post. You may also include instead URL/News/FTP info if something is posted on the WWW or Usenet or FTP. #
    5. Decisions: There is always some degree of Moderator decision that is arbitrary; what constitutes a violation of these rules in particular can be many shades of grey. There are a number of considerations that may influence Moderator decision in these cases. Those include but are not limited to: Previous behaviour of the poster; quantity and quality of BBS participation by the poster otherwise; and multi-post harassment or deliberately obtuse behaviour (which is a form of harassment). (e.g., Asking the same question over and over without bothering to acknowledge the answer; responding with argument without addressing fair issues presented; discussing a specific topic or author's content without reading the references provided; etc.). At the end of the day the Moderator's decision is final. #
    6. Deleting: You will only have a limited amount of time (15 mins) to delete a post. This prevents threads or posts losing their coherency and preventing other users understanding the thread of the discussion. If you feel really strongly about a post or message you have made and feel you would like to delete it, then please contact a moderator who will be able to advise. Please think carefully before posting. #
    7. Editing: You will only have a limited amount of time (1 hour) to edit a post. after this time the post becomes un-editable. This prevents threads or posts losing their coherency and preventing other users to understand the thread of the discussion. If you feel really strongly about a post or message you have made and would like to edit it, then please contact a moderator who will be able to advise. This doesn't apply to simple grammar or spelling mistakes. #
    8. Etiquette: You must never post a message that contains another members real name or contact details. You must always respect other members wishes. Do not deliberately flame or hijack another members thread. #
    9. Hijacking: Thread hijacking is not permitted on the boards. Thread hijacking occurs when one or more individuals commenting on the original posting, go off topic, creating a separate conversation. This is rude, and bad internet etiquette. If people want to discuss a different topic, they should start their own thread. Where applicable hijacked posts may be split from the main thread, or deleted, without the hijacking poster's knowledge. Constant hijacking by a member will result in further action being taken. #
    10. Messages: Create new threads in the most appropriate forum for the topic. Create the threads with clear topic titles, indicative of the content within. When posting, please keep to the topic of the thread as much as possible. There is no need to add spoliers to any part of the thread (including the title). All posts at HAVOCA are potentially triggering, so there is no need to highlight the fact. #
    11. Privacy: You should refrain from posting details that are personal to yourself and might identify you to a third party. As a general guideline you should never post anything you wouldn't wish someone to relate to you. HAVOCA can not prevent or censor membership - this means anyone could join HAVOCA and act as though they are sincere. Please bear this in mind when posting. #
    12. No self harm posts or threats are allowed on the main forum. We all know how difficult the healing process is, but it is unsafe for others (and makes them feel helpless) if anyone posts a threat of self injury. Talking of feelings or past events, is allowed and encouraged. But talking about ACTIONS or THREATS is banned. These posts will be removed for the safety of all. If you are suicidal, call a support person. There are also lists of Suicide Prevention Hotlines/Self Harm groups to call in the links section. By request you can apply to join the Self Harm/Suicide Forum which has been set aside from the main forum. You can find it here: #
    13. Soliciting: It is permitted to post or message requests for sponsorship for funds that will be donated directly to legitimate organisations or charities. Posts or messages that are considered to be deliberate SPAMMING, PHISHING or PHARMING will be removed immediately and the username banned. #
    14. No suicidal posts or threats are allowed on the main forum. We all know how difficult this healing process is, but it is unsafe for others (and makes them feel helpless) if anyone posts a suicidal or self injury message. Talking of feelings or past events is acceptable, but talking about ACTIONS is banned. These posts will be removed for the safety of all. If you are suicidal, call a support person. There are also lists of Suicide Prevention Hotlines to call in the links section. HAVOCA isn't run by trained counsellors/professionals - please bear this in mind when requesting help. By request you can apply to join the Self Harm/Suicide Forum which has been set aside from the main forum. You can find it here: #
    15. Surveys/Research/Projects: No surveys, school projects, research or fact finding missions are permitted at HAVOCA without the strict permission of the Trustee. If you are a student and wish to solicit the help of members of HAVOCA then please contact the Trustee who will assess your application. At the very least you will need to provide Ethical Approval and an outline of the research. #
  3. Posting Guidelines

    1. Boundaries: If you have specific issues or boundaries then feel free to add them to your signature. This way other people will know what the boundaries are. Likewise please respect other members boundaries in the same way. An example of this type of boundary may be;'Please don't call me Hun' etc #
    2. Content: You can only delete a post for 15mins after it has been submitted and you can only edit a post for 60mins after it has been submitted. Therefore think carefully about what you post and ask yourself the following questions:
      • am I happy for the content of my post to be visible to other members of the forum for eternity?
      • will my circumstances change so that in the future I might regret making that post?
      • am I happy that I haven't disclosed any private information that might threaten my security either now or at a future date?
      • will my post leave me feeling vulnerable?
      If you can answer yes to any of the above questions then consider saving your message and come back to it in a few days. You can then decide whether you are ready to post it. #
    3. Images: Posting or linking to images is permitted as long as those images fall inside the guidelines of the rules on this page. #
    4. Language: This forum is only for adults and therefore some level of bad language is expected. However please respect other members and try to moderate the use of bad language to times when it is applicable and necessary. #
    5. Quotes: You should try only to include a small portion of the post you may be responding to in your own message. Delete the previous text others have written, except sentences or paragraphs that you are directly responding to. (It is assumed that anybody reading your post has read the posts prior to it, so a complete recap isn't needed) If you don't do this, readers are forced to wade through the same message over and over again, and may be put of from doing so - it also saves us bandwidth. (In some cases the Moderator may delete excessive quoting from a post out of courtesy to other members.) #
    6. Religion/Politics: This forum is first and foremost a survivor's forum. HAVOCA doesn't have any allegiance to a particular religion or Political Party but does respect members' rights to their faiths/beliefs. As such HAVOCA expects it's members to act respectfully. It would be wise to be sure of each member's personal boundaries regarding religion/politics before posting 'God-stuff' or 'Anarchy-rules' to them! - in essence - just be sensitive to individuals' needs! #
    7. Response: As our community constitutes hundreds of individuals located in lots of different time zones, response time to posts can vary considerably. In a vulnerable state it is easy to construe this response time as a direct snub on you or your post. If you find your posts aren't getting any answers then try to consider the nature of your post and the section you have posted to. Is your post too long winded? Have you asked specific questions or are you just generalising? perhaps your post is so succinct it doesn't need an answer? If you still aren't satisfied then try directly asking for help in your post. #
    8. Safety: This community is a caring environment that supports healthy expression and warmth. As such some members may sign off their posts/PMs with affectionate messages, for example hugs or love. If you feel unable to accept these messages and are not ready to deal with the feelings these messages surface, then please append a note to your signature to that effect. Please refer to your user profile for instructions on how to do this. HAVOCA can not censor or prevent memberships: therefore anyone could join HAVOCA and act as a sincere member. Please bear this in mind when joining/posting. #
    9. Spoilers: All posts at HAVOCA have the potential to trigger - it is therefore requested you don't add 'trigger' to your title as this may detract from other posts that may be equally or more triggering than yours. It is up to an individual whether they are in a safe environment and we expect each member to make their own choice as to which section of the forum they read. Spoiling words with asterisks is also not encouraged. It is permissible to use the [spoiler] tag inside the post. #